Reckless? That'll do nicely

I'm grateful to Peter Black AM for a press released headed "Labour 'complicit in reckless lending' says AM".

If you're appalled by reckless lending, you can sign up here for a Liberal Democrat credit card. After an initial interest-free period you may find yourself paying a far from reckless 18.9 per cent APR.

Peter Black's ire was focused on mortgage lenders but I think the principle's the same (and the interest rate higher) so I hope I haven't quoted him entirely out of context.

Clearly he didn't have the Co-Op or Visa in mind when he said: "It is quite clear that the banks themselves will do nothing voluntarily to reduce the good living that they make out of the debt they have foisted upon their customers."

It's dark at night

A helpful statement of the bleeding obvious from the Welsh Assembly Government:

"With the clocks going back this weekend, parents are reminded that both darker nights and darker mornings mean children are more vulnerable on our roads as they are less visible to motorists.

"The Assembly Government urge’s (sic) parents to ensure that their children wear something bright and take extra care when out and about."

If only the Assembly Government would "take extra care" with its use of apostrophes you could almost trust it to educate your children.

Another top tip: "Bright fluorescent clothing shows up best during the day, especially in dull or misty weather but doesn’t show up after dark."

One more thing - don't forget to wrap up warm. (OK, I made that bit up).

Chinese whispers

I may have been asleep on my watch but I discovered by accident that a group of Welsh MPs are toiling on our behalf in China this week.

The publicity-shy Welsh Affairs Committee decided not to let journalists know in advance about their vital fact-finding mission.

Apparently, MPs on the committee did discuss advance publicity but decided against it.

They were also sensitive to questions about why they were going so far on taxpayers' money.

They also decided that rather than be followed by cameras and microphones they'd prefer to return with results they could then discuss in the comfort of Westminster. A discussion that would take place any pictures of their visit, which is something of a handicap when it comes to TV news.

The visit seems shrouded in the sort of secrecy that used to win medals under Chairman Mao.

We must await their return next week to find out why.

In the pink

This is the MP for Conwy, Betty Williams. She's dressed up for a good cause - to highlight next week's "wear it pink day" - it's part of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

She says: "So what do you have to do? It couldn’t be easier. Whether you are in an office, at school, or simply doing the shopping, on 26 October donate £2 to Breast Cancer Campaign and wear an item of pink - anything you like, lots of pink, a little bit of pink, as long as it’s pink."

No-jags Ming

If you've struggled to get to the betting shop counter to have a flutter on the next Lib Dem leader it's probably because there are Conservative MPs ahead of you in the queue.

Shadow Welsh Secretary Cheryl Gillan says she's putting a fiver on Lembit Opik to win. The odds are generous - around 50/1 the last time I looked.

She says she's even contemplating a flutter on Mr Opik's girlfriend, Cheeky Girl Gabi Irimia - she's an even more generous 500/1.

Mind you, I won't be putting my pocket money on it.

Sir Menzies Campbell breaks his silence over his departure this afternoon in a BBC interview.

He says he's proud that his party put the environment at the heart of political debate.

Indeed, Sir Ming made a personal sacrifice, putting his gas-guzzling Jaguar in a museum as a contribution to cutting carbon emissions.

Now he's gone few would begrudge him if he asked for the car back.

Strictly Lib Dems

Was Sir Menzies Campbell a victim of ageism? Some of the newspaper coverage of the party conference, particularly the cartoons, was cruel but was it unfair or just politics today?

At 66 he's not exactly old - much younger than some past prime ministers and two years younger than the current Welsh First Minister and the Australian Prime Minister.

Perhaps it goes down to appearance. Sir Ming may once have been an Olympic athlete but a serious illness makes him look older than he is. Sir Cliff Richard was 67 two days ago. Perhaps if Sir Ming had tried Botox and dyed his hair he might have got away with it.

The age factor was used to justify criticism of Sir Ming's failure to make an impact with voters.

Some have suggested that the leader of the Liberal Democrats needs to convince voters that he'd be a credible prime minister. I think this is a slightly novel approach - few voters ever assumed Charles Kennedy was a likely future PM but they liked his conversational style as a contrast to that adopted by the Labour and Tory leaders.

Lib Dem MPs have queued up to praise their formal leader - which raises the obvious question of why they got rid of him.

The two favourites to succeed Sir Ming - Nick Clegg and Chris Huhne - both went to the same school, Westminster, which may leave Gordon Brown as the only UK party leader not to go to public school.

The new leader will be announced in the week beginning December 16, having been chosen by an exhaustive ballot of Lib Dem members.

Now that they've decided to make leadership elections an annual treat, perhaps they should be turned into TV shows with viewers allowed to vote.

Strictly Lib Dem Fever anyone?

Lib Dem buses

I don't know - you wait years for one Liberal Democrat leader to resign - and then three come along and quit at once.

Within months Sir Menzies Campbell, Lembit Opik and Mike German will be able to form their own ex-leaders' club.

The details of Sir Ming's departure have yet to emerge. At the weekend he was defiant that he would continue - perhaps he had a visit from party bigwigs, not so much the men in grey suits as the men in orange sandals.

Peter Hain goes green

"I'm all in favour of saving the planet, Gordon, but Tony said a bullet-proof Jag came with the job....."

Your alternative captions gratefully received.

Photograph: Dimitris Legakis, Dragon News and Pictures.

Take me to your leader(s)

An alien landing in Wales and demanding to be "taken to your leader" might be in for a confusing response.

If s/he landed in the middle of a Plaid Cymru conference s/he might be offered the choice between the party's president, the party's leader, the party's parliamentary leader, the party's honorary president and the party's leader in the European Parliament.

An alien alighting at a Welsh Liberal Democrat conference would be offered the choice between the leader of the Welsh Lib Dems, the party's Assembly leader and the man styled Lib Dem "shadow Welsh Secretary".

Lembit Opik told the party's Aberystwyth conference: "And I celebrate the meteoric rise of Roger Williams to Shadow Secretary of State for Wales. Yes, the torch has passed to a new generation of Shadow Cabinet Member - described by one admiring fan as John F. Kennedy, Winston Churchill and the Dalai Lama all rolled into one, but better."

I suggested to Sir Menzies Campbell at their party conference in Brighton that the situation was a tad confusing. Not at all, he assured me, although the party now seems to recognise the problem.

Roger Williams's appointment as "shadow Welsh Secretary" ruffled some feathers in the party at Westminster - particularly among politicians who insisted that Lembit Opik remained their boss and not Roger Williams.

Well, no longer. It looks as if the MPs will be answerable to Mike German, who will have woken this morning to discover that he's slightly older than he thought.

Mike German will apparently be briefly leader of the Welsh Lib Dems before stepping down after next year's council elections.

That should leave him enough time for a farewell tour of Blairite if not Sinatra proportions.

But what of policy, I hear you cry? Lembit Opik's girlfriend Gabi Irimia told the Western Mail: "The only issue that wasn't raised was one I really wanted, the Barnett formula.

"Probably if I'm coming next year I'll push it harder and everybody can see I'm a dead boring girl".

Boring, the Barnett formula? Surely not. With national newspapers making comparisons between economic output and public spending there may be a few twists left in that debate.

The feet of history

Great excitement ahead as the weekend should offer definitive news on the future of Wales's longest-serving political leader.

I fear that Mike German's political opponents are not treating the leadership of the fourth largest party in the National Assembly with the seriousness it might expect.

Sadly, I will be passing up the opportunity of a sunny weekend in Aberystwyth to run the Cardiff half-marathon.

I have however taken the precaution of arranging mile-by-mile electronic updates from the seaside lest I miss an historic moment.

Running 13 miles is hard enough at my age without the disappointment of missing out on a coup by the Burnhamites.

Best of enemies

What a week. All those figures. Numbers swirling in front of my eyes. Not only the Barnes Runners draft accounts, but also my conference expenses. Apparently there was a spending review and a row over compensation for farmers too.

Enough of numbers. Back to the Punch and Judy show.

Labour and Plaid Cymru may have put aside their enmity in the Welsh Assembly but the entente cordiale has yet to reach Westminster.

Labour backbencher Nia Griffith was swiftly on her feet in the Commons today to raise the issue of advertisements placed by Plaid MPs at taxpayers' expense in newspapers shortly before the May Assembly elections.

(You remember, the one where Plaid promised to "kick New Labour into touch" before they realised the Welsh economy is actually quite "dynamic").

The electoral commission says Plaid should declare the adverts, paid for from House of Commons allowances, as election expenses.

Plenty of ammunition then for Labour MPs to throw at their coalition partners, sorry Westminster enemies.

Nia Griffith didn't get very far before the Speaker intervened.

Michael Martin told her: "In future it's best not to use business quesitons to attack an honourable member."

He wouldn't even let Leader of the House Harriet Harman respond:"I think I would rather leave this matter".

Is it 'cos we is Welsh?

Er, no. The Welsh and the Scots have not been disproportionately penalised by the UK Government over help for farmers affected by the foot and mouth outbreak.

Before history is re-written it should perhaps be pointed out that farmers in England have failed to secure a penny from the Treasury in extra compensation for the foot and mouth outbreak.

Environment Secretary Hilary Benn has had to find the money from the existing English agriculture budget - as his counterparts in Cardiff and Edinburgh have had to raid their own budgets to fund packages.

Mr Benn too failed to persuade the Treasury to cough up new cash.

There are separate arguments to be had over whether the UK Government should cough up as the outbreak has been linked to a government laboratory and to why the mooted Treasury package (£12m for England, £8.1m for Scotland and £6.5m for Wales) didn't materialise.

Is it 'cos there's no general election? Mr Benn said:"There is not a word of truth in the allegation that a possible election had anything to do with decisions on funding for the foot-and-mouth crisis, and I very much regret that this is being used in this way''.

Missing millions - another update

A statement from DEFRA: "We don't comment on leaked documents or provide an ongoing commentary on discussions with other departments. The package for English farmers has been met out of Defra's existing budget. However we do not yet know what the full cost of this outbreak will be or whether this can be met in full by the Defra budget. Scotland and Wales are considering their own measures to assist farmers."

So we may never know why or if the Treasury pulled the plug on the package.

Missing millions update

One theory doing the rounds is that in drafting the statement Defra assumed they had a deal with the Treasury - only to be told to find the money from their own budget.

That would explain why Wales and Scotland missed out. Why did the Treasury pull the plug, if it did?

Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond says it might be something to do with the general election.

Politicians west and north of the border say the UK Government should pay up as its laboratories were the source of the outbreak.

More missing millions?

Here's a statement drafted by civil servants in Defra for their Secretary of State, Hilary Benn, to deliver on compensation for farmers affected by recent foot and mouth outbreak.

"This outbreak arises from an unusual set of circumstances and to reflect that hte Chief Secretary to the Treasury has agreed, exceptionally, to fund this package of assistance for the English livestock sector, amounting to £12m from the Treasury Reserve.

"I have also agreed with the Chief Secretary to the Treasury that Scotland should recieve £8.1m and Wales £6.5m to assist them in countering the impacts of foot and mouth on their livestock farmers".

Clear enough? Except when Mr Benn got to his feet on Monday, this is what he told MPs: "I am announcing today a package of assistance for the English livestock sector, amounting to £12.5m. The devolved administrations are proposing to introduce their own schemes".

No mention of any cash at all. We're on the case.

I know my place

There's a backlash at Westminster over plans to allow MPs to jump the queue in Commons coffee shops.

Parliamentary staff have been reminded that MPs have priority access to facilities such as lifts, refreshment facilities and photocopiers.

I'm pleased to report that the Liberal Democrats have started a revolt. They've tabled an early day motion - parliamentary graffiti - to make their views known.

The motion's been signed by, among others, Lembit Opik and Charles Kennedy:

"PRIORITY ACCESS TO FACILITIES 9:10:07

That this House notes with astonishment the announcement made on Tuesday 9th October that hon. Members should have priority access to services throughout the Commons part of the Parliamentary Estate; further notes that such an approach is expedient in certain areas at certain times, such as during a division, but not everywhere all the time; believes that this announcement serves to create a rigid two-tier system which is counter to an enlightened image of Parliament; further believes that there is merit in a general presumption of equality on the Parliamentary Estate; and urges the Administration Committee to reconsider."

It looks like Messrs Opik and Kennedy won't pull rank if you find yourself at the front of the queue for a large capuccino and a blueberry muffin - but I'll try to put their egalitarianism to the test asap.

Funtime Wednesday

Another fun Wednesday beckons. The first question time for Gordon Brown since he decided not to call a general election.

Monday's statement on Iraq was a sombre affair, light on partisan insults. Today's half-hour should be rather different.

The warm-up act, the hors d’œuvre, the appetiser, is 30 minutes of questions to Wales Office Ministers Peter Hain and Huw Irranca-Davies.

The questions were tabled before Parliament returned from its summer break this Monday but that shouldn't stop creative MPs from posing more topical queries - perhaps raising the missing millions from the Welsh settlement in the spending review.

What will be the impact of the deal on the Labour/Plaid coalition government in Cardiff Bay? If the local government settlement west of the border mirrors that in England then councils may find it a struggle to keep council tax rises low in the run-up to next year's elections.

Will the "challenging" settlement create tensions between Labour and Plaid Cymru?

Plaid parliamentary leader Elfyn Llwyd says Ministers will have to prioritise the policies in their coalition accord: "They may have to make cuts here and there.

"We knew it was going to be tight. It is disappointing, not devastating is it?"

Post-pre-Budget report

I managed to survive the day without using too much of the accountancy jargon thrust upon us after Alistair Darling's spending review.

As a bonus, we even managed to entice a Government Minister or two onto the airwaves.

But when you look at the small print of the Welsh settlement there are big questions to ask about why the Assembly Government budget this year is more than £200m less than it expected.

The answer, according to governments at both ends of the M4, is that the NHS in England (unbelievably you might think given its financial crises) actually underspent last year and under that formula I try to avoid mentioning a couple of hundred million or so that could have been spent in Welsh hospitals or on other public services was sliced off the balance sheet.

(Under the formula, Wales gets a share of any increase in comparable spending in England - and a share of any decrease).

The Assembly Government says it's keen to negotiate with the Treasury to get the money - after all it's twice what John Redwood sent back during his time as Secretary of State in the 1990s.

The reduction of up to £260m a year also allows the UK Government to claim bigger increases in Welsh spending, thanks to the lower base. (I should point out that spending will still increase in real terms, although not as quickly as the Assembly is accustomed to).

As you might expect, opposition parties are queuing up to attack what's been called the "worst" spending round since devolution.

That rather assumes all state spending is a good thing - you don't need to be John Redwood to prefer a more neutral ("tightest"?) term but the budget will certainly make life more interesting for Labour and their new best friends in Cardiff Bay.

Crunching those numbers

An hour to go until Alistair Darling stands up and my brain still aches from a little light number-crunching.

We don't have all the figures yet but we know a few numbers from which to draw conclusions.

It's one of those days that hacks, with varying degrees of numeracy, have to digest a vast array of statistics and then simplify them in a way that can be understood by the layperson without insulting those who know better than us what we are talking about.

The Welsh part of the spending review is likely to mean less money for the Assembly Government than it hoped but more than it feared.

Expect Ministers at Westminster to claim increases above inflation of more than two per cent - higher than Scotland or Northern Ireland.

Expect opposition MPs to challenge the figures by questioning the starting base used to work out the increase. Expect too questions about whether the Treasury has included European grants that had been destined for Wales anyway regardless of Alistair Darling's handywork.

Somehow we've got to work out where the truth lies - without using the following phrases: "Barnett consequentials", "objective one", "outturn figures", "convergence programme", "gross domestic product" and "fiscal consolidation".

I'm going for a brief lie-down in a darkened room.

All over Darling

Gordon Brown's favourite joke in his old job was that there are two types of Chancellor - those who fail and those who get out in time.

Mr Brown doesn't think he failed. Public spending has soared during the last 8 years, although that rate of growth is likely to slow down dramatically.

So a tough job for the man who's taken over at the Treasury, Alistair Darling, who unveils the UK Government's spending plans later today. Spending will go up but after the years of plenty the next few years will feel like a squeeze.

It's an early challenge too for the Labour/Plaid Cymru coalition government in Cardiff Bay. They have a long shopping list of promises - they'll find out today whether they can pay for them.

We are talking real terms (after inflation) increases, although smaller than we have become accustomed to, so the settlement could be (probably will be) presented as generous or mean-fisted, depending on who is doing the spinning.

If Plaid think the latter they could always blame the colonial London government (I paraphrase) for failing to come up with the money, without alienating their Welsh coalition partners too much.

But with health and education the main winners in England, the Welsh budget should not suffer disproportionately, give or take the odd argument about spending formulas.

More on this throughout the day, but now for something completely different.

I bet you've always wondered how Ministers use taxpayers' money to fund their reading matter.

Here's a list of the subscriptions taken out by the Wales Office, as listed by Secretary of State Peter Hain:

"Dod's Companions, including National Assembly for Wales companion, Vacher's Quarterly,
Economist, The Spectator, Tribune, New Statesman, Prospect, Whitehall and Westminister World, Private Eye, Golwg, Y Cymro, and Welsh Farmer."

Somehow I can't quite see Peter Hain settling down in an armchair with a copy of Y Cymro or Welsh Farmer. Aga Magazine perhaps........

Radio silence at Wales Office

They have a funny old news sense in the Wales Office, the Whitehall department that represents Welsh interests but has no executive functions.

A few weeks ago they were trying to persuade us that a Minister climbing Snowdon was a story - would we like to interview him?

Perhaps not. How about his incredibly newsworthy visit to a salt factory on Anglesey? Probably not worth holding the front page for.

Then there was his absorbing visit to Llangollen. I think something else may have hit the headlines that day.

Today, with the Prime Minister answering questions about his decision not to call an election, we thought we'd like to speak to a Minister.

We rang the Wales Office. You can guess the reply.

Timing

The secret of comedy is said to be good timing - you could make a similar argument in politics.

So here's something from my diary for 6pm tonight, organised by Progress, a Labour Party pressure group.

"Brown's first 100 days: Advantage Labour?"

Speakers include Peter Hain, the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions and Wales.

Gordon Brown's 100th day was last Thursday. I suspect today's meeting may focus rather more on days 101-104.

Household names

It's a big story, leading most bulletins and newspapers.

So who do Welsh Labour put up to explain Gordon Brown's decision not to call a general election?

The Secretary of State for Wales, perhaps? His deputy? Welsh MPs in the Brown Government, perhaps at the Foreign Office?

The secretary of the Welsh Group of Labour MPs? An MP in a marginal seat relieved (reprieved?) by the decision?

Er, no. The Wales Labour Party offered broadcasters the Welsh Assembly Member for Caerphilly.

Perhaps the age of spin really is over - or perhaps the more relevant guests were too embarrassed to appear.

Relieved of Westminster

There won't be an election this year.

I know we political hacks are supposed to salivate over every dash (stumble) to the polls but after the saga that was the Welsh general election, and the exhaustion of three weeks of party conferences, I confess I am mightily relieved to have escaped another bout of election fatigue.

I guess voters (or non-voters) who don't share my enthusiasm for politics will be even more thrilled by the news.

That doesn't mean we won't be spending the next few days dissecting what it all means and how much of a hit Gordon Brown will take for flirting with the idea of an unnecessary election before dropping the idea when a few polls started to look ropey.

Perhaps the Prime Minister was put off by all those "DC for PM" posters that greeted him on his photo-opportunity yesterday.

It was flattering to see them but I can assure readers that I have no plans to become Prime Minister and that my priority remains BBC Wales audiences....or did the posters refer to another DC?

Diary date

A date for your diary, but not one in November. The UK Government will reveal the results of its spending review - and the pre-Budget report - next Tuesday.

A last chance to bribe us with our own money before polling day? Or a long-scheduled piece of political furniture? Today's polls make an election less likely.

The pre-Budget report offers Alistair Darling a chance to respond to Tory initiatives on stamp duty and inheritance tax - two policies that appear to be playing well with voters despite questions about how they would be paid for.

The spending review will set out public spending limits between now and 2011, including the Welsh Assembly Government's budget.

There will be more money for health and education in England, which means a bigger budget for Wales, but the rate of increase will slow down dramatically compared with the past few bountiful years.

Those Labour/Plaid Ministers will find themselves with some tough decisions to take if they're going to deliver the policies they've signed up to.

Time and a half

One of the casualties of spending three weeks by the English seaside is that I haven't always been able to get my daily diet of S4C2, gavel-to-gavel coverage of the Welsh Assembly's proceedings.

Fortunately, colleagues have been keeping me up to date. Apparently, on Tuesday AMs did not finish their "plenary" session until past 5.40pm - unlike Westminster, the Assembly has prided itself on family-friendly hours.

That explains this extract from the Assembly's official record of proceedings:

"Lorraine Barrett: Deputy First Minister, I said to you earlier that I have to leave—the statement has run on much longer than I expected, and my three-year-old granddaughter is waiting to be picked up."

And here's an extract from the Assembly's unofficial record of proceedings (Facebook):

"Jenny is in plenary."

Good to know those laptops on the politicians' desks are being put to good use, isn't it?

Fortune favours...?

The queues for David Cameron's speech already stretch around the Winter Gardens. It's David Cameron's big day - and probably the last major leader's speech here.

The Tories are giving up on Blackpool, long rejected by Labour. Its conference facilities are poor, its accommodation worse, its (visiting) drunks a traffic hazard. Blackpool has a great political history - Harold Macmillan resigned as Prime Minister during the Tory conference here in 1963.

Margaret Thatcher made her first conference speech as Prime Minister here. William Hague and David Cameron made the speeches that made their names here.

But enough nostalgia, what of the future? When will the election be? Gordon Brown won't tell us so I went to see Sarah Petulengro. Sarah has been telling futures on Blackpool's North Pier for more than 20 years.

She's predicting an earlier than expected election although having stared into her crystal ball she wasn't prepared to name the date. (November 1?)

She predicts surprises ahead - that will be a relief for Welsh voters suffering from election fatigue.


Sarah found time to look into her crystal ball on my behalf - apparently I too have big changes ahead - good ones - although I do have some obstacles to overcome first.


You can watch Sarah's political analysis (it was free - she turned down our offer to cross her palm with silver) on Wales Today this evening. More on the Petulengros here

Illuminations

Another Blackpool early morning. I do feel sorry for those whose journey to work doesn't involve a tour of the illuminations.

In the BBC office - the wintry car park of the Winter Gardens - other reporters on daft o'clock duty shiver and sniffle.

The conference cold is omni-present. Three weeks on the road have taken their toll.

Home beckons for a day or two. A first Sunday off in four. Oh, hang on. It looks as if Alistair Darling is bringing forward the UK Government's spending review to next Monday. Marvellous.

And an election to follow? Another month away from home? Well it looks like November 1 even if Gordon Brown's people say he hasn't made his mind up yet.

What fun. All our Christmases have come at once.

Look on the bright side

Whose analysis of the Welsh economy is this?

"A very vibrant local labour market, boasting levels of unemployment and employment that are amongst the best witnessed for a generation."

And this?

"In any dynamic economy jobs are lost as well as created - what is important here in Wales is that we continue to create far more jobs than we lose. To focus only on the losses and company closures rather than on the new jobs and company expansions that are being created paints a false picture of the Welsh economy, and serves only to talk Wales down when in reality we continue to punch above our weight."

Yep, you've guessed it - that's the leader of Plaid Cymru talking in his new role as deputy First Minister. I've no idea who Ieuan Wyn Jones could be talking about when he refers to those who "talk Wales down when in reality we continue to punch above our weight" and paint a false picture of the Welsh economy.

Here's one analysis from a prophet of doom: "And while the richer areas of Britain are flourishing the Welsh economy is struggling. Hundreds of manufacturing jobs are being lost every month - in the north, south, east and west. Farmers are living in poverty. Our young people are being forced out of their communities to find work."

What a remarkable turnaround in the economy since those dark days of five years ago forced the Plaid leader to make such a gloomy assessment.

DC on DC (II)

David Cameron on making St David's Day a bank holiday:

"I think there is a very strong case for it. It is something we would be prepared to look at very positively."

Asked about the cost to business, he said: "There is a good case to say that if you look at bank holidays we get rather less than some other European countries so I think that maybe there is something we can do there."

(Honestly, you spend thousands to send your boy to Eton and they don't even teach him about the difference between less and fewer).

Questioned about Assembly group leader Nick Bourne's claim that the current devolution settlement is untenable, Mr Cameron said the Tories would look at the case for devolving extra powers from Westminster case-by-case.

"I don't believe in some great leap forward. I think we have got to make this work in a sort of organic way rather than writing some great blueprint."

He seemed rather more relaxed about Nick Bourne's speech to a conference fringe than some MPs are. Cross words have been exchanged in Tory circles after Mr Bourne repeated his commitment to giving the Assembly full law-making powers like the Scottish Parliament.

He didn't use the p-word - Parliament - but more than one MP has been subjecting the speech to heavy textual analysis. The Tories may be united on many things here in Blackpool, after a conference that has been nowhere near as bad as some of them feared, but devolution stretches that unity.

DC on DC

Just back from the Derby room at the Imperial Hotel and my allotted five minutes with David Cameron.

I think I must have been only the 29th hack to interview the Tory leader today.

He did look just a little fed up having to switch at five-minute intervals between the various nations and regions of the BBC - from policing in Kent to the Scottish Parliament.

He's a polished performer and I didn't come away with a world exclusive.

But he did have fairly interesting things to say about Tory Assembly leader Nick Bourne's call for the Welsh Assembly to be given more powers and the idea that St David's Day could become a bank holiday. Cameron thinks it's an attractive idea and the UK has too few public holidays.

Will it appear in the Tory manifesto for the next (imminent?) general election? No guarantees.

I also asked this old Etonian if he's too posh for Wales. You can guess the answer.

Vote Blue, go Green?

Never let it be said that politicians say different things to different audiences.

Here's Nick Bourne, leader of the Tories in the Welsh Assembly, speaking to a fringe meeting at the party conference in Blackpool last night:

"On reflection the argument the ‘No’ campaign set out about the threat to the Union was, at the very least, over done, possibly even wrong."

And here's Nick Bourne, writing in the Daily Post, last month:

"With reflection I think the argument the ‘No’ campaign set out about the threat to the Union was, at very least, over done, possibly wrong."

David Cameron's been criticised for highlighting the environment but he seems to have persuaded his leader in the Welsh Assembly to start recycling his own speeches.

Right turn

Good news for Nick Bourne. The Telegraph adjudges the Tory leader in the Welsh Assembly the 51st most influential person on the Right in the UK.

That's one ahead of Samantha Cameron (Dave's wife), three up on Lord Tebbit and nine ahead of John Redwood.

Nick Bourne is apparently dead chuffed - even if some Tory activists are rather sceptical about his claim to be on the Right.

Roll on the top 50.

Gardening leave

I spent the morning gardening in Blackpool. Before I'm called before the BBC trust police for deception, I should point out that I spent the morning watching others gardening.

The Welsh Tories unveiled their answer to Groundforce's Charlie Dimmock and Alan Titchmarsh.

Step forward Cheryl Gillan and Nick Bourne, wearing anoraks of Guantanimo Bay orange. The plucky duo helped out at a project to build a community garden in a deprived area of Blackpool - a social action project designed to show how the Conservatives have changed.

Their efforts so far do look impressive, especially since I understand that Cheryl Gillan has a gardener and Nick Bourne doesn't have a garden.

Iain Dale has delivered his verdict on the first conference appearance of this double act:

"There was a time when the opening speech of the conference by the Party Chairman was a must for all those attending. Today the hall is a quarter full. I'm sitting here listening to a discussion chaired by Caroline Spelman with the devolved Tory leaders. Someone really needs to sort the sound out. Truly terrible. Off to a fringe."

Having quoted from Iain's blog, I should probably plug his new Guide to Political Blogging in the UK, not least because I'm in it.

I'm a bit wary of lists and a bit perplexed by some of the top 30s, but if you voted for me - thanks. This blog's only been going since June and lacks a BBC platform so it was refreshing to discover that someone out there is reading it.

Poll to poll

David Cameron's call for a general election may or may not be ignored by Gordon Brown.

If he calls an election, Cameron will be able to say Brown's responding to his call. If he doesn't, he'll accuse him of running scared.

But how ready are the Tories for a general election?

Privately, some of the delegates, sorry representatives, I spoke to at a reception this evening are hugely unenthusiastic about the prospect of an early election.

(A reception, incidentally, where David Cameron was expected but unable to attend - I'm contemplating dusting off the "Leader snubs Welsh Tories" headline).

Opinion polls during the last fortnight have offered David Cameron little cause for hope.

The Tories have so far selected "14 or 15" candidates for the 40 parliamentary seats in Wales.

They may have chosen candidates in target seats but in Blackpool this does not look like a party on election alert.

St David's Day again.......

I worry that I may have become a tad predictable in my questioning of politicians.

I emerged from grilling shadow Welsh Secretary Cheryl Gillan for the Politics Show to be greeted by another senior Tory brandishing a pound coin.

This apparently was the bet placed on me asking whether the Conservatives would make St David's Day a bank holiday.

Tories in the Welsh Assembly have long favoured this option as a way of making their party appear more Welsh. Conservatives at Westminster - bank holidays are decided by the Treasury - have long ignored the request.

Apparently I've now been asking this question for seven years - almost as long as the Tories have been refusing to answer it.

Which of us will wilt first?

Postcard from the seaside

Blackpool has some of the warmest, friendliest people in Britain - and some of the grottiest hotels.

We are being charged £143 a night to stay somewhere that would cost you under £20 a night at other times of the year.

The "hotel" promises that it is spending £5m to restore it to "it's (sic) former glory" - punctuation that reveals the current state of the building.

A colleague checked in early this morning and was disappointed to discover that his room didn't have a shower.

"It's not standard," came the reply. "You have to ask for one specially."

His reply: "I didn't ask for a bed either, but I expected the room would have one."

This may be the last major political conference held here. Not before time.

Lembit �pik

Greetings from Blackpool, which is so far living down to expectations - and the Conservative conference has yet to begin.

More on them, a lot more, later. But here's the last word on the Lib Dems - whose Welsh leader seems to be suffering an identity crisis.

Gordon's Gazza Strip

I've been too busy working to think at length about Gordon Brown's speech and his emphasis on Britishness - was it 71 or 72 references?

But the debate in the Welsh blogosphere is alive and kicking. Some think it's a direct response to May's elections. That may be true but Britishness has been a consistent theme of Brown's for a year or more - long before he became Prime Minister.

He's even been known to praise Paul Gascoigne's goal against Scotland in Euro '96 - something few of his compatriots would have the stomach to do.

The emphasis on Britishness may reflect his sensitivity about any possible English backlash to the idea of a Scot deciding public services in non-devolved England while his own constituents have their schools and hospitals run by an SNP devolved government.

Brown needs English votes to remain PM and is engaging in a far from subtle attempt to win over former Tory voters. (Bournemouth was abuzz with speculation about imminent defections by Conservative MPs.)

So Brown continues to bang on about Britishness - and has been encouraging members of his Cabinet to take up the theme.

Peter Hain needed little hesitation to join in. Welsh Labour leader Rhodri Morgan talked about "shared British values". One of those in the running to succeed him, Carwyn Jones, impressed MPs by talking up unionism at a conference fringe meeting. (A few future leadership votes in the bag there).

There is a danger for Brown that the Britishness appeal may backfire in England. As Frank Field has suggested, every time he opens his mouth to stress his Britishness he inadvertently reminds English voters of his Scottishness.

Slap in the face for Plaid

My colleagues at Sky have put together one of the must-have accessories of the conference season - political Top Trumps.

These cards feature leading politicos from British parties, rating them for categories such as looks, majority, parliamentary skills and charisma.

Lembit Opik will be chuffed to learn that he features - although slightly less pleased to see that his rating for "looks" is 33 - the same as Menzies Campell.

At least he beats William Hague (25) in that department although Hague's parliamentary skills do score highly.

Most senior UK politicians do figure, although Peter Hain has been strangely excluded. He is doubtless "relaxed" about it.

SNP leader and Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond does feature, although there is no place for his Plaid Cymru counterpart Ieuan Wyn Jones, despite his recent promotion to the role of deputy First Minister.

This could well see the first autumnal surge in the Elfynometer and must surely be immediately denounced as either a snub or a slap in the face to Wales.

If it's any consolation, Welsh First Minister Rhodri Morgan is also overlooked. It's a cruel world.

First political memory meme

I've been tagged by Peter Black. Should I be pleased? I haven't got the hang of all this blogging etiquette yet.

Peter has tagged me to talk about my first political memory. I'm old enough to be able to remember the days when the Barnett formula was just a glint in the eye of a Labour MP.

I can vaguely recall the 1970 general election when Ted Heath surprised almost everyone to defeat Harold Wilson.

My 1970 memory is rather more local than that. I must have been six and remember being in the playground at Sully Primary School and a car passing with a loudspeaker blaring out asking people to vote for the local Tory MP Raymond Gower.


This next bit is a bit scary - I was 10 or 11 at the time - but in 1974 (not sure whether it was February or October) I persuaded my father to take me to a public election meeting at the old school in Sully to hear Gower speak.


Sadly, I can't recall whether the meeting - there were around a dozen people there - was dominated by great issues of state or the future of the tennis courts on Sully Rec.

Sir Raymond was a super-assiduous constituency MP fuelling various tales, some of them apocryphal, about his dedication to all local matters. It was said he only put a pound's worth of fuel in his car each time so he could cultivate voters at each filling station.

Election leaflets featured the numbers of parliamentary questions asked and speeches made (these were the days before computers so I suspect someone in the House of Commons library had to count them).

No hospitalisation was too routine to be unrewarded with a sympathetic letter (these were the days before word processers), no achievement too trivial to be ignored - any appearance in the local paper would be followed by a congratulatory personal (if standard) letter.

He was an MP for 38 years for Barry (later Vale of Glamorgan) a typical Conservative backbencher of his generation, never rising above the rank of parliamentary private secretary but being knighted for his services.

The next time I met Sir Raymond, as he then was, was when I started work as a lobby correspondent for the Western Mail in late 1988.

Less than six months later I was covering the by-election caused by his death - a contest won by John Smith who is still the Vale MP despite a five-year break when Walter Sweeney regained the seat for the Conservatives.

Come, Rhondda

A Labour spin doctor has e-mailed me this photograph of the AM for Rhondda speaking to the Labour conference in Bournemouth.

It would be rude not to use it - not that I do everything spin doctors tell me to do.

If you look closely you can probably make out Gordon Brown lurking in the shadows.

Beached

What is it with Neil Kinnock and beaches on the south coast of England?

It's many years since the former Labour leader memorably stumbled into the surf on Brighton beach. Today comes news of an intriguing clash with semi-naked protesters on Bournemouth's seafront.

The protesters were highlighting the Government's refusal to offer them full compensation for pensions they lost when their companies went bust.

Lord Kinnock arrived on the scene and was greeted by protester John Benson who called him
a "bloody traitor", a "bloody disgrace" and told him to "bugger off".

The former Labour leader said he had come to the protest to find the "guy who has been telling lies about me".

Despite the hostile reception Lord Kinnock sympathised with the protesters:

"They're very decent people and they're making a point... They've got a case they've been dreadfully let down by the system. The government has sought to provide some support and is
following it through still."

He may be pleased to learn that I think next year's Labour conference is in Manchester, which doesn't have a beach.

Relaxed

Welsh Labour are officially "relaxed" about Eluned Morgan's call for an end to the clear red water strategy.

So relaxed they've just asked us, at a conference stunt, not to ask the Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, and the Cardiff North MP Julie Morgan about the issue.

Rather than ask difficult questions, here's a pretty postcard from the BBC Westminster autumn tour.

Wish you were here.

Clear red water

Bournemouth's Manchester Hotel has played host to the Wurzels, Little and Large, and Ken Dodd.

Tonight, over a buffet of chicken wings and vol-au-vents, it hosted Rhodri Morgan, Paul Murphy and around 60 delegates to the Labour conference - at a fringe meeting that resembled a polite inquest into last May's Welsh Assembly election results.

Morgan and Murphy were brought together by MEP Eluned Morgan, who took the chance to criticise Rhodri Morgan's approach of claiming to put "clear red water" between Labour in Cardiff Bay and Westminster.

Speaking hours after Gordon Brown told the conference about plans for a personalised NHS in England, she called for a more aspirational route from Welsh Labour to follow the New Labour approach.

Eluned Morgan said Labour had to face up to the fact that in some areas "people simply don't like what we are doing".

She added: "We should not be tiptoeing around the nationalists despite being in coalition with them."

Former Secretary of State Paul Murphy told the meeting Labour should resist the possibility of "an obsession with identity in Wales".

(Assembly) Leader of the House Carwyn Jones said Labour should proclaim its unionist beliefs more - a move welcomed by one devosceptic MP.

Former first secretary Alun Michael said the Assembly should be increased to include 80 members, two per constituency, with no regional list AMs. He also suggested a Northern Ireland-style power-sharing deal in which all parties would share responsibility for making devolution work.

Two MPs told me privately afterwards that many of their party colleagues are still in denial about Labour's poor results, blaming Tony Blair's unpopularity rather than problems with the NHS, particularly in the western part of Wales.

I think this inquest could have some distance to run.

At our best when at our longest

Well, that went on a bit, didn't it?

Having waited most of his life to deliver today's speech, Gordon Brown had understandably rather a lot to say.

The style was very different - wisely Brown didn't try to ape Blair's theatrical approach to these events.

Few of the policy announcements were wholly new - the proof of the pudding will be in the delivery of noble aspirations. (Although do you know anyone who's in favour of an impersonal health service?)

Delegates here would have cheered had he simply stood up and announced that he's not Tony Blair - which in a sense he did.

Brown did acknowledge in a New Labour way rising aspirations among patients when it comes to the NHS. Out of hours GPs? Regular NHS check-ups for all?

A reminder that things won't stand still in the NHS - and the challenge the Labour/Plaid coalition in Cardiff Bay faces in keeping up with progress east of the border as it ticks off items in the "one Wales" document during the next four years.

Waiting for Gordo

The queues around the conference centre are lengthy - and lengthening. It seems that every Labour MP, AM and activist wants to hear what their new Prime Minister has to say.

Well, not quite everyone. We need some sort of Welsh angle for Wales Today. How about an MP fighting a marginal seat whose job may depend on Gordon Brown's appeal to the voters?

Easier said than done. We offered exposure on Wales's most-watched TV programme, a chance to connect with constituents. So far the shrinking violets we had in mind have yet to overcome their shyness.

One MP's office said she was away from the conference "on parliamentary business" - an enigmatic phrase that should silence those cynics who think Parliament isn't sitting this week. There are, it seems, still facts to be found in places near and far.

Another MP has yet to respond to countless calls to his pager and mobile. His office say they've been unable to track him down, although he is supposed to be in Bournemouth.

Some may think that in this age of self-publicists and spin it is especially refreshing to discover professional politicians who believe the X on the ballot paper stands for "no publicity".

UPDATE: I later discovered the "parliamentary business" involved a week-long Commonwealth Parliamentary Association trip to India followed by a visit to Sri Lanka. It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it.

Election alert?

I've just had a chat with a Labour MP who's been busy getting quotes from printers for his election material.

I'd have thought the odds were against a poll next month - the MP is advising Gordon Brown to delay until next year - but you never know.

Johnson's disease

It happens to all of us. Sometimes the words in your brain, or on paper before your eyes, don't come out of your mouth in the way you intended, or in the order right.

It happened to my Radio Wales colleague Peter Johnson, an experienced and immaculate broadcaster, who yesterday revealed to Sunday Edition listeners the existence of a scary new disease called "bluetooth".

I think he meant bluetongue, although perhaps he didn't.

Symptoms of bluetooth disease include unsightly growths in one ear, a tendency to shout usually found only in those who are hard of hearing, and a propensity to drive white vans or Mondeos as vehicles of choice.

Scientists have had diseases named after them for less. Peter, take a bow.

Back to the future

Welsh Labour has a new campaigning slogan - and a portable backdrop on which to display it.

The slogan is "Working hard for Wales".

Ring any bells?

Yes, it's the same phrase adopted by Alun Michael as Welsh Labour leader in the first Assembly elections in 1999.

Well, it got him elected.......

A spinner repents

Readers of Peter Hain's now defunct blog may remember this from April: "BBC Wales was running a story - which was utter rubbish - claiming that Labour would go into coalition with Plaid Cymru after the Assembly elections on May 3rd.

"As I have made clear in the past, party members simply wouldn't wear a deal with the separatists. So the BBC Wales claim is flatly wrong.

"Many of my colleagues believe that nationalist sympathies are rife in the BBC Wales newsroom, and such blatantly and unjustifiably pro-nationalist coverage will have done nothing to assuage their concerns."

Five months on, with Labour now in coalition with "the separatists", here's an extract from Wales United: Partnership for Progress: "The BBC embodies the values of inclusion and fairness, with Welsh-produced success stories like the BBC's Doctor Who and Torchwood showing not just what Wales is contributing to Britain but how Britishness contributes to Welsh success."

It's only fair and inclusive to point out the joint author of that paragraph, although you've probably guessed by now that it's one of the two mates above.

News from the bunker

Greetings from Bournemouth, where the BBC is operating from its traditional base of the conference centre car park.

I may not see daylight again before Thursday as any Labour conference news struggles to compete for airtime with Charlotte Church giving birth.

Labour are using the conference to launch a pamphlet arguing the case for Wales remaining in the UK.

Authored by Rhodri Morgan and Peter Hain, it states: "Ten years on since the referendum in Wales, we can rightly celebrate both the successes of devolution and the economic, social, cultural and political ties that bind together the countries of the UK - which are stronger than ever before."

Political ties stronger than ever before? With nationalists in power in Cardiff, Belfast and Edinburgh?

In the next paragraph, they add: "Plaid Cymru's new role in the Welsh Assembly Government has not at all dented their separatist aspirations."

Discuss.

Fashion victim or Aga chic?

There's an interesting interview with Peter Hain in today's Daily Telegraph.

Students of the life and times of the Work and Pensions (and Wales) Secretary may find their attention distracted by the rather jazzy Argyll sweater he's wearing. Eat your heart our, Ronnie Corbett.

On the eve of the Labour conference in Bournemouth, the big question in British politics is clearly this:

Is Peter Hain

a) Taking up golf;

b) Wearing a Christmas present from David Blunkett;

or c) Preparing for a new life as a knitwear model?

Answers on an e-mail please.

Chilling out with the Lib Dems

I've just finished watching Sir Ming Campbell's speech to the Lib Dems in Brighton - a more energetic and impassioned performance than before, received politely rather than rapturously.

He took on the age issue, promising to make age an issue at the next election as, he argued, with age comes experience and with experience judgement. (At 66, he is almost old enough to be First Minister of Wales - Rhodri Morgan celebrates his 68th birthday next week).

I spent the rest of the morning touring the conference centre armed with a copy of Hello!, trying to find out whether delegates think Lembit "Cheeky Girl" Opik is an asset or a vote-loser.

Most activists were on his side, arguing that politics needs "characters".

The man himself was chuffed to get the results of our totally unscientific poll when I popped in to the conference chill-out zone to interrupt him during a foot massage.

You can see the results, including the massage, should you be so minded, on Wales Today at 6.30pm. Or watch it here.

The qualified holistic therapist in charge diagnosed me as "tense". After a week locked in a conference zone with a bunch of political anoraks, who wouldn't be?

Added alliteration

Sir Ming's people have been briefing us ahead of his speech tomorrow.

Expect an attack on the "cosy consensus" allegedly offered by Labour and the Conservatives.

How time flies. As I recall, his members were queuing up to join the "cosy consensus" after the Welsh Assembly elections earlier this year.

In fact, the only reason they're not in power in Cardiff is because the Lib Dems couldn't find a consensus, cosy or otherwise, between themselves on whether they should do a deal with Labour or with Plaid Cymru and the Conservatives.

Ming says hello!

I've just interviewed the leader of Britain's third political party.

As you'd expect in the middle of a crucial conference for the Liberal Democrats and Sir Menzies Campbell, I focused largely on the latest policy developments, green taxation, proportional representation and the philosophy of liberalism.

I may also have mentioned the contents of this week's Hello! magazine - new readers please scroll down.

Sir Menzies, it has to be said, took great interest in my copy - and would probably have read it cover to cover if I hadn't asked for it back.

Perusing photographs of his business and enterprise spokesman with his Cheeky Girl girlfriend, Sir Menzies said:

"Lembit's life outside politics is a matter for him. If I thought that his life outside politics was affecting his ability to fulfil his responsibilities as a member of the shadow cabinet for the Liberal Democrats, I would take action but I don't believe that and therefore I don't propose to take action.

"I am not appalled by photographs of this kind. What is appalling about two young people who are obviously very affectionate towards each other?

"As long as he does the job then he can stay in the job."

Would the leader and Lady Campbell contemplate sharing their beautiful lives with Hello! readers? "No-one has suggested it".

Will he be buying the Cheeky Girls' new album? "I think it unlikely".

Whatever you think of the Lib Dems, Sir Menzies was a good sport - even if he didn't offer me the hoped-for Werther's Original.

Showbiz corner

Hot news from the Lib Dem conference, where a signed copy of a Cheeky Girls CD went for £100 at an auction hosted by Lembit Opik.

Delegates have also been spotted poring over copies of Hello! magazine along with their normal conference documents.

The reason? Opik and the Cheeky Girl singer Gabi Irimia are sharing their first anniversary with readers of the glossy magazine.

Gabi and her sister have returned from Romania where they had corrective cosmetic surgery. Gabi tells Hello!: "We are proud of our breasts as a man would be with his new Ferrari - they were asymmetric with one nipple heading east and the other west".

I'll leave any political metaphor to others but Opik tells Hello!: "I don't want to tempt fate but it's going well. We're really happy together".

Thwarted ambition

An insider's tip that may help those of you hoping to join the Eleanor Burnham bandwagon on its (debatably) unstoppable rise to the leadership of the Liberal Democrats in the Welsh Assembly and into power.

Qualified aromatherapist Ms Burnham uses the same final question when interviewing potential members of staff.

It is: "If you were a bar of chocolate, what would you be, and why?"

Apparently the job-clinching answer is: "An Aero, because I'm bright and bubbly."

I fear that a suggested answer featuring Cadbury's Fruit & Nut may limit my prospects of becoming a spin doctor in a future Burnham government.

Ms Burnham is a 10/1 outsider for the group leadership, worth considering if you're reading this outside a branch of Northern Rock and are looking for a riskier home for your money.

The cheek of it

So many fringe meetings, so little time. So many are the joys of the Lib Dem conference.

The odd gimmick creeps in amid the debates and fringe meetings about different forms of proportional representation.

Welsh Lib Dems Roger Williams and Eleanor Burnham donned cycling helmets to pedal along the seafront to make a point about cycle facilities.

The party's student wing is flogging its own version of Top Trumps - compare your MP's record to win.

Peter Black mugs and fridge magnets are for sale - the conference shop claims to have sold six or seven magnets. I forked out 65p for a Mike German one - you never know they may be worth more soon.

And tonight Lembit Opik will be the auctioneer at a fringe event where one of the lots going under the hammer is a signed Cheeky Girls album.

I'd bid myself but I'm saving up for the rarer unsigned version.

The Leadership Express

Oh to have been a fly on the windscreen.

Liberal Democrat Assembly Members Peter Black and Eleanor Burnham demonstrated their commitment to a carbon-neutral future by sharing a car to Brighton for the party's conference.

The two are so far the only semi-declared candidates for the Lib Dem leadership in the National Assembly. (Although the Lib Dems have yet to adopt the royal practice of never allowing future talent to share the same transport)

Peter Black wants someone to challenge Mike German but will do it himself if he has to; Eleanor Burnham says she has as much to offer as anyone.

So what could they possibly have found to discuss on their journey?

One slight hurdle between the two politicians and the leadership is the need for backing from one of the other five AMs.

If Mike German does stand down, Jenny Randerson says she'd also consider standing.

We may yet end up with 50 per cent of the Assembly group standing nominated by the other 50 per cent, preserving the Lib Dems' reputation for uber-democracy.

Of course, things could change - although I'm told we can discount the rumour that Eleanor Burnham will be hitch-hiking back to Cardiff Bay if she refuses to stand down in favour of Mr Black.

All this idle speculation from the sidelines does pose two rather bigger questions: does it really matter who leads the fourth largest group in the Welsh Assembly - and does anyone care?

Parting to the right

Not content with hosting a tea party for Margaret Thatcher, Gordon Brown is now using an advertising agency that bears the name of Saatchi - that made its name working for the Conservatives in the run-up to Lady Thatcher becoming Prime Minister.

Eagle-eyed readers will notice that the Prime Minister's clothes-stealing performance is made complete by parting his hair on the right - something I've yet to see in any other photograph of Gordon Brown.

With the age of spin over, there's no way Labour or its advertising chums could possibly have simply reversed his photograph, is there?

Tea for two

A lot of fuss about Margaret Thatcher's return to Downing Street.

Gordon Brown offered the former PM tea and a tour of her former home. I can't help wondering if he'd be as welcoming if Tony Blair decided to pop in?

Hey big spender?

Next month, Chancellor Alastair Darling will announce the Government's spending plans for the next few years.

In Wales, much public spending is decided by a population linked formula, you know - the one named after Joel Barnett.

Spending per head in Wales has traditionally been higher than in England, although many Welsh politicians argue that the formula doesn't reflect the country's relative poverty.

My BBC Scotland colleague Brian Taylor suggests the Treasury has been playing hard ball in the run up to the spending review and that far from making Barnett more generous the settlement for the devolved governments may be tighter.

Of course, the UK Government could just be lowering expectations to head off demands for a more generous settlement, but it's certainly a twist that will raise eyebrows west of Offa's Dyke as well as north of Hadrian's Wall.

Alternatively, the new "Scottish Government" may be getting its retaliation in first ahead of the spending review's conclusions.

Isn't life grand now the age of spin is no more?

Say it with flowers

Cost to the taxpayer of sending flowers from the Wales Office last year: £40

Cost to the taxpayer of finding out how much the Wales Office spent on flowers (via parliamentary question from Fareham MP Mark Hoban: £134.

That's the average cost of answering a written parliamentary question (2005 estimate) - and we still don't know who got the flowers.

My conference resolutions

It's that time of the year again when we hacks chase political anoraks around the seaside for three weeks in pursuit of news that is hopefully relevant to the audiences we serve.

My conference season begins later than my colleagues. As Basil Fawlty might put it, the particular avenue of pleasure of the Plaid Cymru conference in Llandudno has been closed off to me.

But Brighton - and the Lib Dems - beckons, so it's time for my own conference resolutions.

This year I'm hoping to avoid:

1. News items that begin"Delegates are gathering......"

2. The word "keynote" - now applied to almost any speech from an elected politician, usually by the person delivering it.

3. Strong drink

4. Interviews that begin: "So David, what's the mood of the delegates?"

5. Late nights

6. Mad delegates who are obsessed with the Barnett formula, Europe, proportional representation or all three.

Taxi for Hain!

Just in case you've spent the summer wondering how the Wales Office spends our money, here are a few answers from the man in charge, Peter Hain, all culled from parliamentary answers released today.

"The Wales Office expenditure on first class rail tickets for the last 12 months was £72,142.82."

"In the past 12 months my Department has spent £4,440 on first class flights and £2,946.50 on business class flights." (Two officials accompanied Peter Hain on a trip to the United States - the Northern Ireland Office picked up his own first class tab).

"In the last 12 months my Department has spent £2,548.87 on taxis."

The Wales Office also spent £40 on flowers. The recipient's name is not revealed.

I'm told that all the figures refer to civil servants rather than Ministers.

Agas 4 All

There was a time when all you needed to make it in Welsh politics was a CND badge, a slightly shambolic dress sense and a vague commitment to social justice.

No longer. As revealed earlier this year, a posh cooker is an essential ingredient in the hinterland of any ambitious politician.

Having alerted readers to the Agas 4 Socialism movement, I have now discovered that Peter Hain is not the only leading politician to swear by his Aga.

Step forward the slightly unlikely gourmet Rhodri Morgan, First Minister. Thanks to the South Wales Echo, a paper almost as good as the days when I delivered it five nights a week, Morgan's closet flirtation with New Labour tastes can be revealed.

Put on the spot to reveal the contents of his fridge, he says: "Corn on the cob from Riverside market is the best bargain - half a dozen for £3.

"You just put them in the Aga or microwave until the leaves turn brown - talk about instant food!"

Admittedly, this is a belated discovery for me - as readers of Wales on Sunday will have spotted months ago.

The Welsh Assembly Government Morgan leads has already introduced free breakfasts in schools. Can it be long before no state primary is complete without its own Aga?

(The photograph of the First Minister and the MP for Cardiff North produced gratuitously above comes from Paul Flynn's blog)

Don't call me sir

Hot news from the Lib Dem leader in an engaging interview in The Times today.

“I don’t like being Sir Ming," says Sir Ming, "because I think it sounds silly. I’d rather people just dropped the Sir altogether and called me Ming Campbell.”

This welcome disdain for titles would be slightly more convincing if he were not listed on his party's website as initially Rt Hon Sir Menzies Campbell QC MP and subsequently as Menzies ('Ming') Campbell CBE QC MP.

If Sir Ming really doesn't like being called Sir Ming, he could have refused his knighthood.

Lib Dems have been keener than some other parties to receive honours for political service - I can think of several failed parliamentary candidates who've nevertheless received gongs for their political work.

Perhaps Ming Campbell, as we must get to know him, really does intend to break the mould.

Whatever next? MPs with Phds not calling themselves doctors? It does happen. The prime minister gets by without using his doctorate, although some rather more obscure backbenchers are so proud of their academic achievements they waste no opportunity to use it.

BBC Scandal

The Daily Mail has unearthed a major scandal that is set to rock Britain to its foundations.

Apparently a couple of BBC reporters have been spotted wearing jeans on TV. Questions would be asked in Parliament if MPs were not on holiday, sorry in recess.

Monmouth Tory MP David Davies has overcome his natural reticence to see his name in the tabloids to offer the Mail his verdict.

"I certainly wouldn't turn up to a broadcaster looking like I have come off a beach," he said after Richard Watson and David Shukman were revealed as the guilty men.

"T-shirts and jeans would be fine if they were on Blue Peter but these are programmes that pride themselves as the country's top current affairs and news programmes.

"A suit would be more appropriate. I was brought up in the Seventies - but personally I think you have got to dress for the occasion and that means smart clothes for TV."

He speculated whether reporters would soon be seen reporting on royal occasions "wearing tracksuits, bling and a baseball cap".

Personally, I've never worn jeans on TV and my wardrobe is a little short on bling and baseball caps. Perhaps William Hague would lend me one.

I think Davies has missed the point. The image of denim has taken a knock in recent years, a blow attributed by fashion experts to their popularity with middle-aged men such as Tony Blair and Jeremy Clarkson.

The real crime is apparently wearing jeans too late into middle age.

Some style gurus believe that 42 is the latest age at which denims should be worn.

At the age of 43, I should probably declare an interest.

Westernmail'necho!

It's the end of an era. Western Mail & Echo Ltd will shortly be no more. For those of us of a certain age, the very name conjures up images of newspaper sellers in flat caps on the streets of Cardiff.

I think it was Echo legend Dan O'Neill who once suggested the two papers made up one name - westernmail'necho - as hoarsely yelled by those sellers behind their stands around the capital city.

Now the company is to rebrand itself Media Wales Ltd, a change that will be publicly adopted from October 1.

Managing director Keith Dye reminded staff today: "Our goal is to build a multi-platform media business by developing and sustaining strong positions across print and digital."

"In order to communicate this philosophy to our customers and advertising clients, we have decided to rename our business to reflect our entire product portfolio, and our aspirations for the future."

By "customers" I think he means readers although those of us who live in the multi-platform media world cannot be too sure. The company's new online presence will be http://www.mediawales.co.uk/.

Ringing Thomson House - "Western Mail and Echo - can I help you?" - will never be the same again. In fact, the company wants to rename that too and has asked staff for suggestions.

Apparently, the current favourite is Thomson House, keeping the name it was given in the days when the papers were owned by Lord Thomson.

Alternative suggestions are being considered - Owain Glyndwr House and Dragon's Eye are among two of the suggestions from staff, as is Ty Gren Jones.

Perhaps it could be named after some of the media legends to have worked there. Glyn Mathias Towers? Ty John Humphrys? Michael Buerk House? Sue Lawley Buildings?

For Wales, see England

Some interesting thoughts from the ever-thoughtful Adam Price, faithfully reproduced by the Western Mail this morning.

Price points out that public spending per head is slightly higher in the North East of England than it is in Wales and draws the conclusion that Wales would be better off as a region of England, although presumably he's not proposing a redrawing of national boundaries.

It's an interesting contribution to the debate over how Wales is funded, although I had hoped to make it through September without referring to the Barnett formula.

The source of his figures is the Treasury. The difference between Wales and North East England in 2006/7 is estimated at £38 per head - spending in Wales is higher than in seven of the other eight regions of England, London being the exception.

Spending on health is £110 higher per head, education is £32 per head higher in the North East, a region thought comparable to Wales due to its heavy industrial past and the consequences of that.

The difference in health spending can't be attributed solely to the overall level of funding - it's a question of priorities for the Welsh Assembly Government (and its new Plaid Cymru Ministers?).

Price poses interesting questions too for the UK Government and the Wales Office. Its response: “The Barnett formula delivers a stable funding base for Wales - £14 billion this year - and there is no guarantee that replacing it would provide a better deal for Wales.

“Spending per head in Wales is 11 per cent higher than the UK average and 14 per cent above the average for England - that is £1,000 a head more in Wales than across England."

What's in a name?

Names and titles are important in politics as today's politicians strive to create tomorrow's history.

The SNP administration in Scotland has rebranded itself as The Scottish Government, although legally it will remain the Scottish Executive.

Gordon Brown is said to be relaxed about the change, although his officials still refer to an executive.

Tony Blair's Downing Street was less relaxed a few years ago when a Labour-led Scottish Executive suggested introducing the word "Government" into its official title.

The feeling then in No 10 was that it would be confusing for the Scots to have two governments and the idea was dropped. At the same time officials were content for the executive committee of the National Assembly for Wales, as legally it was, to rebrand itself the Welsh Assembly Government.

Perhaps they had greater faith in the ability of the Welsh to spot the difference, or at least not confuse Rhodri Morgan's administration with the UK Government.

Only since last year's Government of Wales Act was passed has the Assembly Government legally been able to describe itself in that way. Welsh Ministers were originally Secretaries, a distinction senior figures in the Blair Government chose to make to reflect the differing powers of the devolved administrations.

A nationalist-led administration in Cardiff Bay would presumably rebrand WAG the Government of Wales, a title many in Plaid Cymru have used since 1999.

Good to be back

Three weeks away (mostly spent in a country with a small population where the political establishment is seeking more home rule from its neighbour) and not too much seems to have changed.

I'm relieved to have discovered that I haven't missed the end of the DFS sale, although the company claims to have only two such events a year. What it doesn't tell you is that each lasts for six months.

David Cameron's troubles appear to be continuing, although the Brown bounce seems to have lost some of its spring in recent polls, for what they are worth at this time of the year.

Peter Black has written vast amounts to try to answer the question on everyone's lips: what is the point of the Welsh Liberal Democrats? Some bedside reading there for me in the run-up to the party's conference in Brighton later this month.

The leader of the Welsh Lib Dems deserves some reward for services to the media during a quiet month.

Lembit Opik revealed to the Express on Sunday the secret of his relationship with one of the Cheeky Girls: "We have some quite intellectual conversations a lot of the time. We talk a lot about philosophical and sociological concepts. These people who suggested our relationship was just a fling ought to apologise.

The Mail on Sunday revealed that the Montgomeryshire MP signs himself "Bow Wow" in correspondence, a fact that hasn't escaped his political opponents.

The Mail also reveals how the Cheeky Girls have had surgery to correct problems with earlier operations on a sensitive part of their anatomy.

"They went wrong. One was facing left and the other was facing right," explained their mother Margit.

At this rate, Peter Black will have to update his online pamphlet about what the Welsh Lib Dems are for but am I the only one contemplating suing Margit for invading my privacy?

Do let me know if I've missed anything newsworthy during my time overseas.

No more blogging for a week or three

When Lord Lucan is discovered (again) it's time to go on holiday.

I will be back at my PC on September 3.

Digging for victory?

I've been struggling to keep up with, or rather stay at wake during, the war of e-mails between Labour and the Conservatives over David Anstee's defection.

Not since Winston Churchill and Clement Attlee disputed the last comb in the cabinet room has a political row assumed such relevance.

To bring you up to date, the Conservatives have now withdrawn their threat to report Rhondda AM and junior Minister Leighton Andrews to the standards commissioner.

Indeed, the Welsh Tories' "chief of staff" (don't you love these military titles?) Paul Morris has issued a grovelling apology to Rhondda AM and junior Minister Leighton Andrews.

That hasn't stopped Paul Morris's boss, Nick Bourne, from writing to the Prime Minister to complain about Labour tactics in exaggerating the role played by David Anstee in Welsh Conservative politics.

Indeed, Anstee himself has criticised the way the defection was handled.

Nick Bourne said the claim about Mr Anstee and the manifesto "is totally without foundation and massively overstates the role played by Mr Anstee" - the Tories no longer claim Leighton Andrews was responsible for some of the claims made by Labour.

Anstee himself has given an exclusive interview to Rhondda TV about the reasons behind his defection.

At least, I think he has. I tuned in to Rhondda TV but unfortunately there were technical problems - rather too much wind noise on the microphone and sound out-of-synch with the pictures - so I may have missed the point.

Perhaps the station needs a little guidance in broadcast skills from an unremunerated honorary professor at Cardiff University's School of Journalism, Media and Cultural Studies?

A defective defection?

My inbox has been pinging with claim and counter-claim today as Labour and the Tories do battle over the lastest "defector" between the two parties.

David Anstee, a 26-year-old teacher and former Tory council candidate in Rhondda Cynon Taff, has defected to Labour.

Not exactly the biggest fish in the sea, but this is August and the political parties appear to have noticed a gap in the media coverage between the foot and mouth outbreak and the National Eisteddfod.
Labour claim Anstee (left) was "one of the Tories' brightest young politicians in Wales" and
"a member of a powerful Welsh Conservative Policy Group which wrote the party's 2007 Assembly election manifesto".

Prime Minister Gordon Brown was swift to welcome the conversion. The Conservatives were less impressed: "David Anstee was in no way involved in putting together the 2007 election manifesto."

Ah.

The Conservatives are now threatening to report Labour AM Leighton Andrews to the commissioner for standards unless he apologises for allegedly exaggerating Anstee's role.

The former Tory's conversion does appear to have been a rapid one. This is what he thought of David Cameron (who decided to send his child to a state school) just six months ago:

"A Politician who does what he says, says what he believes and isn't afraid to stand out in the crowd. Could this be a PM in waiting. Cameron should be applauded for taking the education of his child so seriously. He has made an intelligent decision which could have landed him in hot water with certain quarters of the electorate.

"He had nevertheless run rough shod over the insiduous rantings of the anti-faith school faction and has made a good decision for the future of his child. Surely now we can trust the future of our children with someone who puts his own children's futures first!"

Labour's response to the Tory rebuttal?

'The Tories are wrong to say David Anstee played no role in helping draw up Tory policies for the 2007 Assembly election. He even attended a meeting of the Welsh Conservative Policy Forum, run by Tory Policy Co-ordinator David Melding AM, to discuss policies for the 2007 election."

David Melding says he doesn't know Anstee, but that hasn't stopped Gordon Brown interrupting his busy day fighting foot and mouth to say:

"I am pleased that David listened to my call for moderate Conservatives to join the Labour party and help build a better Britain.

"I welcome him to the party and look forward to hearing of his positive contribution in the future."

Old cricketers never die

Is there a more wonderfully-sponsored sports event than the Dorset Funeral Plan Cricket League?

Cancel those phone lines, Eleanor

Brrring, brrring; brrring, brrring. I rush to the mobile. A familiar voice at the other end.

"Hello, this is the Mayor of London." Lembit Opik, for it is he, rings to let me know he won't be running for the Lib Dem nomination for Mayor.

Or does he? Opik uses the familiar phrase "I have no plans to......", a phrase pioneered by Michael Heseltine in the months leading up to his challenge to Margaret Thatcher.

But Opik tells me: "I have no plans to run for Mayor, and if you think that's a way of saying I will stand then you need to get yourself a map.

"There are two conditions under which I would stand. One, that Montgomeryshire becomes a London borough. Two, that Welshpool becomes a station on the Metropolitan line."

Latter day Dick Whittington

This may or may not be a silly season story. Lembit Opik is considering running as the Liberal Democrat candidate for London mayor.

The leader of the Welsh Lib Dems says the speculation linking him with the job is "ever so flattering".

"If I was a London MP I would stand like a shot. The only issue is my constituency is 205 miles away."

That may indeed be an issue with local party activists in Montgomeryshire, but Opik is clearly undeterred after positive comments from an aide to party leader Sir Menzies Campbell.

Sir Menzies can expect a call. "I think I might go and have a chat with the boss to see what's going on. The momentum seems to be developing a life of its own."

Is London ready for a fight between Ken Livingstone, Boris Johnson and Lembit Opik?

"Me, Boris and Ken would be a splendid contest. It would get a lot of interest and get the public voting as well."

It's a toss-up who will be more delighted by the news - Tory Montgomeryshire candidate Glyn Davies or would-be Welsh Lib Dem leader Eleanor Burnham AM.

The creation of directly-elected mayors has certainly led to a more presidential politics although this three-way fight could perhaps be less of an election campaign and more of a reality TV series.

Opik's connections with London may not be as strong as those of his rivals - judging by the photograph above he appears a little confused about the concept of a Chelsea tractor.

Still, I can't wait for the Hello! election pull-out.